Read a Novel With Your Teen

Last week I wrote about Honey for a Teen's Heart and I've been enjoying it so much. I can't believe I've just now come across it, and I can't stop talking about it and sharing it. In my reading last night, something occurred to me.

As a student, as a teacher, as a parent, and as a para in the junior high, not ONCE have I ever heard of a teacher or school encouraging a parent to read a novel with a child.

I'm not talking about the little ten page books that teachers send home with first graders to prove to the parents that their child can read. I'm talking about fourth grade and up, when the books are thicker and concepts about world views, and not so much silly kid stuff anymore. Most parents have no clue what their children are reading at school. They might see books that a child brings home, but what about the books assigned to the entire class?

Think about it...they send home plenty of math homework, don't they? Why don't they send home a book and require reading ten pages aloud each night with a parent? This would allow a bonding time with parent and child, discussions over characters and plots (and another viewpoint aside from the teacher's), and the parent will actually know what is being taught through the child's literature program at school.

What values come with literature, and do they match your own? Literature can be interpreted many ways. Do you want your child's literature interpreted only by his or her teacher? What if you don't agree with the teacher's world view? I don't even feel that you can trust a fellow Christian's world view if you are a Christian. There are plenty of disagreements within the Church, some minor and others huge. If you are pretty well educated and awake, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Back to the school...do you even know what books your child is assigned? During my year as a para, I was assigned to a "language arts" class where the teacher chose to read out loud to seventh graders. One thing that bothered me was that there was no open discussion between classmates. There were worksheets that had questions, and you either got the "right" answer or didn't. The bigger problem for me was the novel that was chosen. The worst was White Fang. I'm a sensitive female and animal lover. I cringed through most of the reading. What if there were students just like me? Did they have a choice? If I were a student in the class, I would have failed all the worksheets because I could not stay focused on the reading. I literally fought tuning it out, and I'm an a adult! It was simply to violent for me. If the teacher had allowed discussion about the novel, she may have discovered that some in the class may have needed a different option. But their voices were insignificant, which destroys the whole purpose of reading literature, doesn't it?

The school also had a separate "reading" class which was a time for kids to read their choice for about 45 minutes or so. I don't understand why this reading couldn't have been required at home with a parent or guardian. This reading was for "fun" and there was no testing to make sure the kids understood what they read or if they even read it at all. Why not allow them to read with the parent, encouraging them to bond at home over literature and the discussions that would follow? That allows more time for math to be done in class...math that kids aren't getting during the normal hour. This will take care of the kids going home with math homework and having no clue how to do it. I saw this as well. The math teacher was AMAZING, but kids came to class every day having done homework that they got ALL wrong. They just needed a little more time and instruction, but instead were reading books (or were they?)

If you are a parent of a tween or teen, start asking these questions. And get Honey for a Teen's Heart so you can really get what I'm talking about. If you think reading out loud with your young adults is a waste of time, don't wonder why you don't understand them down the road. If you don't want to stay connected, neither will they. And the best way to stay connected is through sharing literature and the ideas that come from it.

Reading Together with Teens

In a quest to develop a "middle school" literature curriculum for my children next year, I came across a book suggestion. I had never heard of Honey for a Teen's Heart and now that I know about it, I must urge you to get a copy for yourself! After reading the introduction, I was so inspired that I wanted to sit down with my 10 and "almost" 12 year old and start a novel. I am not much of a reader anymore. I have to admit that I got turned off from reading in college, when I was forced to read something I wasn't interested in and we had WAY too many pages to read each night, and after four years of this, I didn't pick up a novel for at least a decade. But Honey for a Teen's Heart reminds parents of the bonding affect of reading together. I won't even try to put it as eloquently as authors Gladys Hunt and Barbara Hampton put it. Just hop over to Amazon and read the sample and you will see what I mean! This book is a must-have for your collection, especially if you are looking to develop a reading list for your literature curriculum.

The Hardest Job in the World

I remember reading an article many years ago about whether or not the statement, "Being a stay at home mom is the hardest job in the world," was accurate. Of course, there is no definite answer. It depends on many factors and there is no cut and dry quantifier to determine the subjectivity of what is "hard" or "harder" to accomplish. There are pros and cons to both being a stay at home mom as well as a mom who works outside of the home. No question, being a mom is hard work. That is, if you work hard at it.

There are "moms" who sit at home all day and do absolutely nothing except watch TV and yell at her kids. That's not the "mom" I'm speaking of.  I'm speaking of the mom who makes sacrifices when necessary, to provide the best life possible for her child(ren). She also disciplines and corrects when necessary, loving and teaching her child to grow and become independent. This is the mom I strive to be.

For many years, people have marveled at what I do. They gasp when they ask, "How do you do all that? You must be exhausted!" And then I realize I am.

It has finally hit me that what I'm doing can only go on so long. Lucky for me, my kids are hitting the ages where my collapsing from exhaustion will not harm them, and they are very independent in their care and schooling.

I am a work at home mom. I also homeschool my two children. Did I mention also that I'm a single mom? I have no family near, and the kids' dad is around "some." Thankfully, we have great neighbors and the kids have friends on our street. I get lots of breaks. But when I do rest, there is always a feeling of guilt. I should be spending the time with the kids....or doing laundry...or growing my business...or cutting the grass...or grocery shopping. Oh, I forgot to mention...I'm also a health freak and super conscious about food. I don't feed them chicken nuggets, pizza, and hot dogs every night. We actually cook here! But I feel guilty for not making my own bread... I guess there's always something. Anyway, the thing about what I do is that it's not physically exhausting. It's mentally exhausting.

There always seems to be decisions that need to be made, a schedule to keep up with, children to listen to, questions to answer... ALL DAY LONG. Yes, I'm exhausted. Yes, it is hard work. But as I crash periodically, I go down thinking it is all worth it. I love my life and I love the freedom to do what we want and to choose not to do something if necessary. I don't have a set work schedule, I don't have to deal with ignorant co-workers and their egos, and I don't have to be told what to do and when. This freedom comes with a lot of responsibility. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Is being a stay at home mom harder than a mom who works outside the home? I don't know anything about that. But I know we each need to do what we are capable of to make our children's lives fulfilling, fun, and educational. The better job we do, the quicker they can take care of us in the future. And that future for me is coming fast...

Amazon Kindle Increases Reading for Kids

I put off for a long time getting into the electronic readers, or "gamepads," as I call them. They were just another ploy to get consumers to purchase another piece of electronics. That may be so, but I read somewhere that an electronic reader actually increases a child's daily reading time. That is one of many reasons that I finally purchased the Kindle Fire for my family, and that statement definitely played out immediately. Of course, they were into the games, but even better, we could search for a book, download it (sometimes even for free!) and read it immediately. If we brought the Kindle along on a trip "for the games," it also included the book my son was currently reading, and he didn't have to have the forethought to lug the actual book with him. So the literature is almost always with us.

Another thing I like about the Kindle is that it can be read in a dark car. It can also be read at night, and since my son doesn't have a lamp to read by, he would always have to get up and turn off the light when he was done reading. Now, if he falls asleep reading, his light isn't on all night.

I'm already planning for school next year, and I see that at least one book is available on the Kindle. I wonder how many trees we are going to save...

If you think a gadget will encourage your child's learning, go for it. In addition to your child's increased reading, you might discover it saves you money on textbooks in the future.

Also, we did purchase "Amazon Prime" and it has been worth the money already. We get lots of free movies and books. Definitely think about that as well!

Computer Programming for Kids

Today my son, 11, received a book from his father called "Super Scratch Programming Adventure! " You can read all about it at Amazon, but I just want to share this because I had no clue anything like this was out there. It is for children 8 and older who want to learn computer programming. My son has been wanting to do this for a while, and he LOVES this book. He dove right into it and had his "Scratchy" doing all sorts of things.

I see that there are other books out there that he will probably own one day on programming video games and I'm really glad now that we just got a Kindle Fire from Amazon. It should save us a few pennies. You can get this book for the Kindle if you want to have immediate access to it!

Grow Your Own Food

For too many reasons to count, if you are a stay at home mom, you should grow your own food when possible. I am making the commitment this spring, and must get started soon. In the fall, I was collecting all the leaves from the yard and had the idea to start a compost, which then led to the idea that it would be useful for the garden that I should grow... I mean, I'm at home...why wouldn't I garden? Well, I could think of a couple of reasons, but now that my kids are older and can help me, I don't have that excuse anymore. Also, I rent...so what if I move? Then I came across Garden Rack. It solved all my problems. Not only does it remove the back breaking work I was looking at, it made my garden removable! If you have a small space or ground not conducive to growing food, this is the perfect solution. Or if you rent your house and don't want to put work into something you might end up leaving, Garden Rack is what you need.  I am working on this project and will post updates as I move forward into this "new world" I am entering. Join with me, and grow some food for your family!

Why Our Children's Life Expectancy is Lower than Ours

Our children's life expectancy is lower than ours, which is ALL OUR FAULTS. Yes, mine, too. Every negative food choice that goes into your child's mouth is your fault. Every positive food choice is your fault. You cannot blame it on trends, friends, or schools...your child is yours and you make his/her choices. Until s/he makes his/her own, and then what you taught them hopefully sticks...

I'm bringing this up following a trip to Home Town Buffet a couple of weeks ago. It has bothered me ever since. It started when I was in line to get chicken, where I was behind a mom helping her son fill his plate. Already on the plate was a pile of french fries and macaroni and cheese. In front of her were (overcooked) green beans and carrots, and what does she say? "Do you want some mashed potatoes or corn?" WOW. (By the way, in my book, corn is NOT a vegetable, nor is mashed potatoes!)

I don't know what ended up on his plate, but we ended up sitting at the table next to this family, who ended up being what appeared to be two parents, two grandparents, and two kids. The second kid sat closest to us, with the rest of the family to his other side. He may as well have been sitting at another table, because not one word was said to him during the meal. He was somewhere between 9 and 11 years old, I guess. When we sat down, he had a HUGE pile of mashed potatoes, and something long and fried, maybe cheese sticks. He then proceeded to make THREE trips to the dessert bar. I happened to glance over just in time to see him look down, grab underneath his belly, and jiggle it. No joke. He then got two icees. When it was time to go, he got up with the family and started to leave with the cup, halfway filled with icee. The first thing I heard anyone say to him was..."You can't take that cup, you have to leave it here."

The first kid I saw in line was skinny. But give him time. He will be supersize before you know it, I guarantee it, with the parenting that I saw of the larger child. At first I wondered, "Why would Hometown Buffet put french fries out when they know it's family night, where parents are going to bring in their kids, because they eat for $.99?" I quickly realized you can't blame the restaurants. But you CAN blame the parents. Maybe it's just me, but when we go to HTB, it's because we can all choose something different to eat, without getting fast food. I know the quality of food is definitely not as good as mine at home, but it's not as bad as fast food. It's a night off of cooking, not a time to load up on desserts and starches and fried crap.

The biggest problem is that parents are eating crap. And whether or not they expect their kids to eat better, if what a parent says doesn't match up with what a parent does, the lesson is lost. Put some veggies on your plates, parents. Limit junk and eating out. Give some choices, but make them healthy (and learn what healthy is!) And start early. The earlier you provide variety, the less likely you are to have a picky eater. Do it for your kids. Their life DOES depend on it!

Museum of World Treasures

Yesterday we visited Museum of World Treasures in Wichita, KS. I had never been there, although my daughter went with my mother about four years ago and had a great time. My daughter and I went with one tour group, and my son went with another tour group with children a bit older. I really enjoyed the visit, but my daughter did not. At all.

The museum is FULL of artifacts. From dinosaurs to mummies to war memorabilia...I don't think anyone would leave disappointed. Leave that to my daughter! I had a great time, and could have stayed longer, reading the plaques on the wall and seeing all the things you can certainly catch a glimpse of online, but this was RIGHT THERE...in front of you...bringing history alive! And therein lies the problem.

My daughter is ten years old. Even at home, she turns away from any negative images on tv, or something that might give her nightmares. I commend her for being so intuitive to realize that what she is exposed to can have an impact on her, and then self-regulating that. I did not expect the museum, however, to have such a negative impact on her. The tour began with the dinosaurs, which she felt a little icky and probably scary, the way they have them set up and the size of the T-Rex. Next came the mummies, which apparently started the thoughts in her head, and it got worse as the tour progressed. She was feeling "sick," had a headache, "not well." When we were in the simulated "bunker" she told me how she disliked it also when she was six. She did enjoy getting to hold some of the artifacts, but we were in a room set off away from the main part of the museum and it looked like a meeting room with big round tables. I didn't get to stay in the museum as long as I wanted. The tour was 1 1/2 hours, but we still had time to look around ourselves. She was ready to get the heck outta there!

I remember when I was younger, and I was just like her. When I was 22, I saw Forrest Gump in the movie theater and had to leave during the war scene! There are actually a lot of kids like this, but we tend to ignore it or write it off. These kids are VERY intelligent and VERY intuitive. That said, I had to tell my daughter why it is important for us to learn history. Too many Americans bury their head in the sand and ignore what's going on. Many have no clue what really happened in our past because they either were never taught, or they have forgotten because they don't care/don't want to know. I explained how we can't see history repeating itself if we didn't learn the history to begin with, and that is why it's important to have the knowledge. She accepted this. But I'm pretty certain she will be learning her history from books from now on, as being around artifacts was overwhelming to her and made her too sick to learn the information.

One thing that I always look for in museums is whether they provide a creationist perspective or evolutionist perspective. We were on a tour with our Christian homeschool co-op. So the tour guides did a great job, especially considering that the dinosaur information was definitely not from a young earth perspective. If you are a diehard young earth creationist, you will still enjoy the museum. The plaques for the dinosaurs were the only part I noticed with "millions of years" and there was another reference that was a little bit off referencing 10,000 years, but I'm not going to be too picky about that. If you are studying presidents, there is a great exhibit with general facts for each president. We also got to see the Declaration of Independence (not the real one, but a really old copy!) They also have a great section on World War I and II. I admit this part was a little overwhelming for me as well, but from a creationist perspective, these parts are not affected, and will definitely bring alive history for your students studying the US or wars.

One of my favorite parts is the piece of the Berlin wall. I was able to share with my daughter how her grandmother grew up in East Germany and snuck over to West Germany on "vacation." She never returned. Well, not until the wall came down, and then she returned to find everything virtually identical to the way it was decades before. I think everyone can find their own little piece of history at World Treasures. Just keep in mind, it might be too much for some. But it won't stop me from returning on my own!

Here is a picture of a great map I took that you might find useful. I love how they combined current and past place names.

Single Parents Dating

Yesterday, I found a horrible clog in my vacuum cleaner that had practically stopped the suction completely. As I vacuumed, I convinced myself it was all in my head. I mean, it WAS sucking my hand in when I covered the tube, but just didn't seem to pick much of anything up. I had already washed out the canister and filter, and had cleaned out the part of the hose I could easily see and get to. I just couldn't imagine there would be anymore clogs in the hose, so I kept convincing myself it was all in my head. Finally, I undid the hose and found the problem. As I was cleaning it out, I thought, "So THAT'S why the house is so dusty even though I've been vacuuming regularly." I couldn't figure out why dust was everywhere, which is unusual. (Thanks to our guinea pig that throws hay out everywhere, the vacuum is more prone to clogging. Lesson noted.)

I also thought about how funny it was that the vacuum was barely sucking, but I tried to convince myself that it wasn't that bad. Once I got it working, I realized the HUGE difference and wondered how in the world I didn't realize it was so bad. And then it hit me.

Incremental changes go unnoticed. The clog didn't just appear all of a sudden. It slowly got worse and worse, going unnoticed, until it practically didn't work at all.

I relate this to another lesson I learned recently. I just ended a long term relationship. It lasted close to two years, starting when my son was 9. I did not notice along the way, incremental changes in my son. He did not verbalize anything, did not complain, did not dislike my boyfriend, and I figured his change in behavior was puberty. Maybe it was, but he is still in puberty, and he has changed completely...for the better. And as soon as I ended the relationship, my son was back. It wasn't a gradual change, it was immediate. And so it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I was able to look back and pinpoint the incremental changes. But while in the thick of it, did not notice that my dating affected my son. Of course, my daughter verbalized every thought she ever had, so I knew exactly how she felt. My son was quieter, but even when asked, couldn't verbalize why he was angry/emotional/upset. I realized that if *just* dating can affect children this way, how horrible it must be for children who watch their parents in abusive relationships!

I no longer feel single parents should date. Not in front of their kids. Kids need their parents, not some other dude. That is ironic because the first thing parents tend to do after divorce is replace the ex. Men look for a mother figure for their kids, and women look for household income for their kids. (Generally... check out stepparenting forums if you don't believe me!) I just like the companionship, but didn't realize how it would affect my kids. It is not their fault that their parents' marriage did not work out, and dealing with divorce is probably enough trauma for their childhood. I only have about 8 more years left being their Mommy and that time will zoom by in a flash. I want to make the most of it.

So. Incremental changes go unnoticed. Check out your own kids and see if there have been changes that you have been too busy (or selfish?) to notice. We think kids will tell us everything, and sometimes what they tell us isn't verbal. Make sure you are "listening!"

Video Games for Future Engineers

Most parents probably think of video games as mindless activity, but if you pay close attention, you can see that kids are doing a lot of thinking in them. If your kid spends a lot of time playing Runescape online, you might wonder what he is learning, but I can attest to my child knowing things simply because of the fact that he played it a lot. And they were educational things, NOT the "other" things you worry about! If you think you might have a future engineer in your family, here is a list of 8 Video Games to Get Your Kid Into Engineering. I apologize in advance for the webpage and how this article is set up. Just click on each small image to see another game...and ignore the ads. Hopefully it will be worth it and you will find a new game for your child!

Algebra Teaching Tool

A great teaching tool for teaching algebraic concepts is called Hands-On Equations. I was trained in using this system in 1994 when I taught 6th grade math. Years later, I purchased my own system to help my stepdaughter who struggled with algebra. Then I used it for my son a couple of years ago when he was 9. We were just working on some math today and a word problem came up that was best solved using an algebraic equation. My son got a worried look on his face, and I decided to re-write the equation using the Hands-On Equations "pawns." He got it immediately. I suggest this system to ALL parents, whether they are homeschooling or not. You can start it as young as 3rd grade, and there is no upper age limit, so if you struggled with algebra yourself, it might help you re-learn (or learn) it. You can learn more about the system at the Hands-On Equations website. I was able to use just the Learning System for $34.95, but I did have previous training in it. You may or may not need to purchase more in order to really understand how to use the system. I would say that the worse you are in math, the more you may need to purchase. But, if you are determined, you should be able to use just the system I purchased. (The more broke we are, the more determined we must become!)
Also, if you do get the system and then have questions, they will answer them for you, and I will, too!

Video Game Battles with Tweens

My 11.5 year old got a GameStop gift card for Christmas, so of course he asked me for two days, "When can we go to GameStop?" He had his heart set on the new Assassin's Creed game for his PS3. So we went this afternoon, and of course the first thing I asked was if it was possible to turn off the gore/language/nudity. He did not know. Well...turns out, you can't. So we stepped out of line to discuss.

Let me rephrase that...we stepped out of line so I could let him down gently. I know he was crushed. But he knows where I stand. I am mostly concerned about the f-bombs that the sales associate said were dropped constantly in the game, and this is an issue right now because he is at that age where he needs to control the things that his mouth wants to say out loud. It's not like he never hears the word, but hearing it over and over, combined with the other negative attributes of the game...it's just too much for his age. I know he was really upset, but he did not argue. His eyes turned red and a little watery. I felt so bad, but knew I was doing the right thing.

A sales associate tried to help us find something else to spend the $50, and I almost gave up when my son said, "There's only one other thing I want..." I followed him to another section of the store where he showed me this large box. "But it's $75 and I only have $50." I reminded him of the check he got from his grandmother, and he lit up.

The box he was holding looked more his speed. It had these cute little figures in them and the box was brightly colored, more age appropriate, and even better...an "E" 10+ rating. This means it's appropriate for ages ten and up. PERFECT! I'd never seen the Skylanders Giants before, and the sales associate pointed to all the figures on the wall nearby. Holy cow! I guess on the bright side, he will always know what he wants for birthdays and Christmases if he keeps playing these games...

As we checked out, when we got in the car, and again when we walked in the house, I told my son how proud of him I was. Not only did he pick out what looks like a great game for him, he didn't try to talk me out of my decision. This was a huge turning point for us. For the past month, his behavior has been exceptional, and this was just the icing on the cake. Have we crossed a bridge to adulthood? I don't know...maybe.

Anyway, the set is super cool. One of the figures sits on the light up "Portal of Power" which lights up the figure, which you can bring to life in the video game. We have the PS3 version, but it's available in numerous other platforms. It is available at a better price at Amazon. Learn more about it by clicking the image below. If you have a son who is in that "stage" maybe he will enjoy this as well!

Teaching Metric Conversions

This is a great way to teach metric conversions to your child. Study the board first, then I'll explain.

First, the mnemonic device...King Henry Doesn't [usually] Drink Chocolate Milk. You can use the same one, or have your child make up one s/he remembers. Each of these stands for a prefix as you can see in red. The [unit] can be gram, meter, or liter, depending on the conversion they are asked to solve.

You can see one problem in green, and how it is solved on the chart. We want to know how many kg is 200g? So we go to our chart and start at "g," because it is our base unit. We need to end up at kg, because that is what we are converting to. We jump from one prefix to the next, until we arrive at the unit we need (kg in this case). We jumped 3 to the left. Therefore, we will move our decimal 3 places to the left. As you can see in the drawing, we end up with .200 kg or .2 kg.

In the blue, we want to convert 3m to mm. Again, we start at our base unit, m, and jump until we end up at mm (3 times). We jumped to the right, so our decimal will move 3 places to the right.

Kids will ask...What is hecto? What is deka? What is deci? The truth is, they don't need to know these. Tell them what each prefix stands for, but realize that they will NEVER be asked to convert to these, because we simply don't use them. They are really just place holders. If they leave them out of the chart, they won't jump enough...so while they need to know they exist, they will never use these prefixes. This chart will help them "see" why they are moving the decimal and they will learn pretty quickly how many jumps it is to go all the way from kilo to milli (6) or vice versa (still 6!)

If you have struggled with metric conversions and have some anxiety about teaching them to your child, sit down and make this chart for yourself and then work some problems out. Use this as a TOOL to go along with your child's textbook, which will go more in depth with how the metric system is based on tens, etc. You know your child better than anyone, but I suggest using this chart ONLY with one unit at first, probably meters. Have your child understand how it works first, and THEN say, "Hey, guess what...it works for grams and liters, too!" Trying all three in the beginning is probably too much if you are working with a 3rd or 4th grader. Older kids are less rigid and can assimilate easier with different units.

If you have any questions, please ask!

Here is another great conversion tool!

Teaching Conversions to the Right Brained Child

Right brained children work better when they can see things in pictures. When converting from one unit of measure to another, this image will help ALL children remember, but especially right-brained children who might not remember it otherwise.

This image "says" that 1 gallon = 4 qts. 1 qt = 2 pts. 1 pt. = 2 cups, etc. Quick...how many pints in a gallon? How many cups in a gallon? How many cups in 4 gallons? All can be solved quickly by using this picture. Kids might have 2-3 days of unit conversions before moving on to something else. If they draw this 2-3 times, they will remember it on their own, and eventually, will be able to see it in their heads.

On a test, such as a state assessment, they cannot bring this in with them, but they can jot it down real quick when a conversion problem pops up. Now if you remember, there might be 2-3 of these on the whole test. Why bother to teach them this for just a couple of answers? Well, I've needed this info in real life...so it IS one of those things that is helpful to just know.

Why "Stranger Danger" Doesn't Work

If you have told your child, "Don't talk to strangers," have you wondered how your child actually hears this? When we say it, we have exceptions, that as adults, we can qualify. Our children cannot. So when we go places, and...talk to strangers, it sends our kids a mixed message.

For example, how often have you gone to the park, zoo, grocery store, mall, etc. and struck up a conversation with a complete stranger? If you are like me, this probably happens often. So if you are a "stranger danger" parent, your child has probably asked who the person you are speaking to is, because she assumes you know him. And when she finds out you don't, she is left wondering about your "stranger danger" instructions.

When we tell our children not to talk to strangers, we are telling them that strangers are bad, when in fact, the majority of people who come across their paths are not bad at all. As a matter of fact, many of them are other parents. I saw a story where a lost boy scout would not respond to men calling out his name because they were strangers, and he was taught not to talk to them. Kids are literal...we need to remember that.

There IS an alternative to stranger danger. But first, I need to address something else. There are two basic types of parents. There are those who give their children some freedom to roam, and those who hover over every single move. Of course we can go to either extreme and find parents who are too lenient, as well as parents who are way too protective and never let their children leave the house. But for simplicity's sake, I'm talking about parents who are "out and about" with their kids. There is a danger to allowing kids too much freedom too early. We need to provide freedom in baby steps, and allow kids to earn more freedom as they show they are treating their freedom respectively. But there is also a danger in hovering over children and never letting them out of our sight. Let me illustrate.

My daughter walks to her friend's house. It is about 4 houses down, across the street. For a while, I watch her, or, she can walk with her friend. For the most part, the kids in our neighborhood use the buddy system. As she earns more freedom, she is allowed to walk to her friend's unaccompanied and unwatched, but she will text me when she arrives, to let me know that her friend is there and that she can play. Now, there is no doubt that from our house to her friend's house, she has a certain level of anxiety. She knows the danger; she knows she is out there alone and can be approached by a car with people set out to do her harm. Her instinct is alerted and she is on guard to run the second those hairs stand up on the back of her neck.

On the other hand, you have the parent that will walk her child, hand in hand, to the neighbor's house. Every. Single. Time. Seems safe, right? I mean, isn't that what parents are supposed to do? Protect their child? When we don't let our child out of our sight, we are telling him that we don't trust him. You can play the, "It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust the crazy people out there..." but that is YOUR anxiety. What are you going to do to prevent someone from entering your child's room at night and taking him out of his bed?! The fact is, stranger abductions are rare. And when you don't let your child out of your sight, you not only don't allow him to foster his own level of intuition, you teach him he doesn't need it because Mommy is with him and will take care of him. And what happens in that rare instance when you are not with him? He is in more danger than you can imagine, because he has learned not to be alert, not to be leery of strangers (because you talk to them yourself), and he is at greater risk than the child who has learned to trust her intuition when something just doesn't feel right.

One afternoon, my daughter was in the driveway drawing with chalk. She saw a "strange man" walking on the sidewalk, so she promptly came into the house and closed the garage door until he passed. So I trust her instinct. She has also proven that she is alert. Even though she was looking down and drawing, she knew the man was approaching.

My son and I met one of his Sunday School teachers at the same time. I got a weird feeling about him. Later, to my surprise, my son confirmed to me that he had the same feeling. He is the one who brought it up, and I couldn't believe that both of us had the same gut feeling.

We need to trust our own gut instincts and foster that in our children. The truth of the matter is, as we allow our teens more freedom, they MUST be able to make quick, gut decisions about people that they meet every day. And if we don't teach them when they are young, it is really hard to learn later on. Start with your kids today, and teach them to be independent and to listen to their gut instincts!