What are we passing down to our kids?

Because we spend more time with our kids- in many of our cases, FULL time with our children- we must be VERY aware of the negative behaviors we have that they are going to pick up on. We can fool ourselves into believing that we are doing well enough if we don't use curse words, or avoid certain discussions in front of our kids. But that is obvious behavior, and not what I'm talking about. Grab a cup of coffee, and take a seat. It's time to get real.

I know you are perfect. I know you would never do the things I have done. But just for fun, let's propose that we all make mistakes, we all have baggage, and every once and a while, that baggage rears it's ugly head. Have you ever yelled at your kids? Ever thrown anything? Do they see you procrastinating? Do you have a bad habit like smoking? Do you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks? Are you depressed? Do you eat junk food all day? Do you see where I'm going?

Everything we say and do affects our children, and not always for the better. I have been a mom for 6 years and 7 months, and I JUST learned what that really means. It means that I have a lot of changing to do, and that I am extremely fortunate to have the very best tools available to me to help me change my negative behaviors.

Before I introduce the tools, I want to share how all of this came to me. First, I recognized that I have many faults that I'm just not happy with. Second, I wondered how to fix them. On some level, I thought, "I am the way I am because God made me that way." But that was a cop out. Third, I prayed about them. Once God saw that I was ready to hear what I needed to hear, He provided a solution. One day I went to the computer and received an email that changed my life.

This email came at the RIGHT time, after I had already recognized my faults, wanted to fix them, and prayed about them. Had any of these things not happened, I don't think I would have been ready for the information that came my way. Isn't it funny how these things happen?

The email was from Mike Brescia, with Think Right Now! International. I had never heard of Mike, nor had I ever searched out self-help or personal development products. I don't know why I never did, because I certainly needed them! His line of products are designed to help you with anything and everything you could possibly struggle with. To learn more about the products, click on the link above.

The reason I wanted to talk about this in my blog is because we are THE biggest influence on our children. Period. As my children get older I see myself in them, the good and the bad. And it's not too late to work on the bad before it gets out of hand. My main priority as they grow and mature is to keep them close and have a good relationship with them so that they can talk to me about absolutely anything. My personality flaws were not going to work toward that end, so it is MY responsibility to fix that. I am also mentioning it here because so far the products I've used have been HIGHLY effective. As busy moms, these tools are absolutely the BEST on the market. You simply play the CD's in the background and go about your day. They are not lecture or how-to audios, they simply improve your thought patterns as they relate to the issue you want to improve. All you do is listen!

I hope and pray that someone comes across this post who is ready to learn this information. Is it you? No matter where you are in your journey, remember that your kids deserve the very best mom or dad that you can possibly be. And never forget that you are passing down to them everything that they witness. Can you say that it's all good?

Soft Star Shoes

I was just doing some work on my website (I had LOTS of things to update!) and just got a reminder about these amazing shoes and wanted to mention them. They are a little costly, but quality is important to me, so I know there are others out there who feel the same way! I have been extremely happy with the qualiy of Soft Star Shoes, and I am saving up to buy myself some slippers. I'm hoping Santa will bring me some for Christmas.

Before I send you to learn more, I wanted to ask you a question. Have you taught your children about the value of quality, and why it is important that we support US manufacturers as much as possible? My children are 5 (birthday last week!) and 6, and they are already getting that education by being home with me. I'll never forget the conversation we had at Taco Bell when my son said that the next time we went to Taco Bell he was going to get a kid's meal because he liked the toy. (As if we don't have 500 similar toys floating around our house already!) We get kids' meals at McDonalds, because it just makes sense, but I *despise* the toys that come with them!! Anyway, I explained that we would NOT be getting the meal just for the toy because there were poor children in China that were working their fingers to the bones for that little toy that is going to end up in the trash, taking up landfill space! It went something like that, so I'm thinking it was probably "that time of the month!" Anyway, you get the idea. We really need to think about our shopping experiences and what we are teaching our children through them.

Long story short, Soft Star Shoes are made in the US and last forever. That is a good sign. I would rather put my money into products like theirs, and honestly, I realize that if everyone were like me, our economy would plummet. So would China's! :o)

Teaching Your Child About Death

This is not really a "school" topic, but a life experience. And our stay at home children will experience things like death in a different way when they are at home all day. Yesterday, we lost our fifteen year-old dog, Jessie. While we knew the day would come, we did not expect it to come so suddenly when she was otherwise healthy. One day she was just old; the next day, she was ready.

Jessie is not the first dog our children have lost. Two years ago, our Jack Russell Sandy was hit by a car. This was very devastating for a number of reasons. First, it wasn't Sandy's time to go. Second, we weren't prepared for it. We woke up, found out she had gotten out during the night, and found her on the street behind our house. In a way, I was more angry than sad. I was mad at her for leaving her nice, warm bed just because she could, and following her instinct to chase after cars. She had to travel through thick brush for quite a while to finally reach the lights of the traffic. Didn't she know what she meant to us, and didn't she want to stay with us?

Even though we knew it was Jessie's time, because she had been with us so long it made it especially hard. Ironically, when we moved from Georgia to Kansas, we planned on trying to find her a home to stay in Georgia because we figured she would not live much longer. When Sandy got killed before we moved, the kids would NOT let us leave Jessie behind. Little did we know that she would make the drive across country and live two more years!

We did have a bit of a warm up for Jessie's death, when our last frog from our tadpole project died the week before. My son cried when I told him that the frog was dead, but then quickly said, "Can I get fish now?"

Kids are resilient, and kids view death very differently from adults. I remember when my children's great grandmother died how happy they were for her. This is because I had prepared them ahead of time and we talked about what heaven was like. When I gave them the news, they excitedly said, "Oh good! She is with Jesus now...and Sandy!" She was, after all, 96 I believe, and was ready to see all her friends who had already passed. Of course, adults only think about how they will miss the person who has died, and of all of the memories of that person. We take it more personally, I think.

It is very helpful to talk about death with children during times that they aren't losing someone. My kids know that sometimes babies, children, and even parents die. I do not get emotional when the topic comes up, but I tell them in a matter of fact sort of way that sometimes these things happen, and we don't know why. Since children see heaven as a really cool place, it takes a little of the fear and mystery out of death. Each child has their own picture of what heaven will be like, which is painted by experiences and information shared by loving adults. If I ever start to imagine what I would do if I lost one of my children, I cry when I am not around them. They do not need to fear death, but they need to know that it is part of life.

My son (6) went with Jessie to the vet, but did not view the euthanasia itself. I believe children should get to see this if they want to. When the animal's pain is taken away, a peaceful, loving demeanor is what appears, and this can be very healing for a child, especially if they have watched the animal suffer at all. My daughter (almost 5), upon being told that we had an appointment to have Jessie put to sleep, said, "Mommy, can we go to Wichita today and pick out a new puppy?"

We'll get the fish, and probably a new dog soon. Knowing the risk of having pets (and more specifically losing them) does not make us want to give up on loving critters and making them a part of our family. We all know that the love they give back is far worth the risk that one day we will lose them!

Another Use for Cookie Cutters

Do you have cookie cutters in your kitchen drawers that get used once a year? We don't bake cookies here much, but we do have cookie cutters. One day it occurred to me that they would be useful for keeping food from rolling around on the plate. My daughter likes to help bring plates to the table, and if there are any round foods like peas or grapes, we always lose a few to the floor. Not to mention, if you have just washed grapes and they are wet, keeping them away from the crackers will help you avoid the, "My cracker is soggy!" dilemma. Using cookie cutters to separate foods for picky children is also a good idea. My kids don't care if their foods touch, but I know some do!

Reasons for Homeschooling

There are some well-accepted and popular reasons for homeschooling. Some are

• safety concerns,
• curriculum preferences (a religious curriculum over a secular one),
• inferior educators in the public schools,
• unnatural socialization in schools,
• concerns of indoctrination of our children in schools, and
• simply recognizing that a parent is the best teacher for his/her child.

When I went to our "Kindergarten Round-up" last year to learn more about the public school, some really good questions began flooding through my brain. What if Thomas got hungry in the middle of the day? What if he wanted a drink? Would he have to drink nasty water from the water fountain? Would he be given candy every day as a reward? Does the room have carpet? How can a carpeted room with 20 5-6 year olds be healthy? Will they use safe cleaners? Do they spray the school with pesticides?

I recognize that most parents would not even think about these things. But to parents like me, they all matter. Why would I provide the healthiest home possible, and then send my child to school all day? A school where they are sure to use chlorox, toxic floor cleaners, and pesticides in the classroom. Think I'm crazy? I just received a newsletter from Dr. Mercola with a link to an article stating that 80 percent of schools are applying pesticides. I live in a small town, where they spray the ball park for mosquitoes, and when a lice outbreak occurs, they "treat the room" (whatever that means) without so much as a letter to parents. People in our town still smoke like chimneys, so you can see that we wouldn't get much sympathy if we said anything!

So to my list of "reasons for homeschooling" I now add, "providing a healthy learning environment." We will learn in our purified air, drink distilled water, clean with non-toxic cleaners, and eat healthy food when we're hungry!

The Things Kids Say...

My son has provided me with some of the best laughs a mom could imagine. When he was about 3 years old, I remember working at my desk and trying to finish what I was doing before I attended to whatever he desperately needed me for. After too many, "Mommy's!" I finally explained to him that he was old enough to start learning what it means to be patient, and that I would be done in just a minute. I realized he only heard half of what I said when he replied to me: "Mommy, YOU be the patient! I want to be the doctor!"

For more funny kid stories, check out this Blog Carnival!

A Death in the "Family"

Last week we had a tragic event occur in our "family" that was a great learning experience: two of our frogs died. They were the last of the eight to turn into frogs, so when we had to name them for the funeral services, we lovingly called them "Seven" and "Eight."

I'm not really sure what happened to them, but my best guess is that they didn't get enough oxygen in their Planet Frog habitat. We put the top on, and I'm guessing the little air holes didn't allow enough air in. It was a sinking feeling when I looked in one morning and saw that Seven was discolored, and Eight was on his back. Believe it or not, I even choked up a little when I said a few words before we buried them in our planter on the front porch. I felt so guilty. But then, having 6 out of 8 tadpoles turn into frogs AND survive is an incredible feat!

I tried to get Anna to sing her new favorite song, "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow," but she would not. She probably doesn't remember singing, "Twinkle, Twinkle," at our dog Sandy's funeral when she was 2 1/2 and perhaps she was just too devastated to sing. But after the services for Seven and Eight, life went on, and hopefully their little bodies in the planter will grow some beautiful plants for us!