Are You an Overprotective Parent?

As a parent you obviously want to make sure your child is safe from harm. You take precautions early on, as soon as your baby starts crawling and walking. You plug up all the electric outlets, block off all the stairs, lock the cabinets, and hunt for small objects hidden in the carpets. But if you are the type of parent who then hovers over your child even though you have taken all necessary precautions to keep him safe in your home, you may be an overprotective parent.

If your child is in kindergarten and you still hover over her, you definitely ARE an overprotective parent. Why does it matter? She will be safe, right? You can protect her, right? Wrong. As a matter of fact, an overprotective parent can stunt a child's development and handicap him for the rest of his life.

An overprotective parent is uncomfortable when her child is out of her sight. She does not want her to be involved in anything dangerous, even if it's dangerous only in her mind. She will not teach her child things that may result in pain, such as ironing, using the stove, or even a knife. On a playground, she will be ready to catch any fall and will hardly ever have both hands off her child. If her child leaves her homework at home, she will make a special trip back home to make sure the child does not suffer the consequences of not having the assignment. With an older child, this parent will lie to cover up something the child has done to avoid prosecution or legal trouble. See where this is going?

The problem is that no matter HOW much we try to protect our children, we will fail. And in our attempt, our children suffer. Children have drowned right in front of their watchful parents. They have fallen off the monkey bars the second their mom looked away. Horrible things will happen. And hovering over them is not going to make a difference. But hovering over them will keep them from expressing their natural desire to climb, jump, run, and slide because YOU fear that something will happen. Eventually, your fear becomes your child's fear, and he will not want to try new things because he now has a real fear of getting hurt, or even worse, of failing.

When children have freedom to explore and learn and gain independence, they see their own limitations, abilities, and consequences, which are all a part of life. Not allowing a child to fail on his own will turn into an adult who still needs you to bail him out of real, adult problems.
The younger you let your child be responsible for his homework, for instance, the younger he will be when he realizes it's his job to keep up with it and get it turned in. The quicker he gets that there ARE consequences in life, the earlier he will think about them before doing something stupid!

Personally, I don't get not wanting to teach your children things as soon as possible. The quicker they are taught things, the more helpful they are. Children who are not taught age appropriate activities are not given opportunities to gain self esteem in a natural way. Instead, parents feed them false compliments, even though their child really hasn't accomplished anything. These children are often less mature and less developed than their peers.

If you are wondering if you are being overprotective, ask your friends. Chances are, they have already seen it and will be more than happy to tell you. But be ready to hear the truth, and take steps to change what might need to be changed. Your children will be happier, and so will you. If you are unable to stop your overprotective behavior, you might want to consider getting help from a psychologist to help you figure out why.

When do children lose their baby teeth?

This question came up recently because I've come across a family with an eight year old who just lost her first tooth. Her younger sister is six, and has not lost a tooth yet, either. I remember having a neighbor who was the same way, and I started wondering if my children were weird...or were these other kids? My son lost his first tooth just after his 5th birthday. My daughter's two front teeth were coming in by age six (she lost them both in a fall early on). My son is only 10 and already has his 12 year molars. Of course his baby teeth came in beginning at three months, so he is odd...but what is normal?

Kids begin losing their baby teeth between five and seven years old. By around ages 12-13, all baby teeth should be replaced by permanent adult teeth. The process begins later for some children, and there seems to be some correlation between kids who get their baby teeth early and when they start falling out.

For more information on the care and keeping of children's teeth, here is an article I wrote about our journey with cavity prevention in children.

What to look for in a lifeguard

For most communities, summer began Memorial Day weekend, and at this point all public swimming pools and lakes should be open and active. But are they ready for you and your children? Good Guard Bad Guard will help you see what most parents don't- whether or not you should put your trust in the "guard" watching your child. A must-read for every parent!

Life as a Dancer...

My daughter just finished her year in dance with a recital this weekend and her future plans include trying out for Company next month. I'm not sure how this is going to go. She will have to give up gymnastics and likely other sports like soccer and softball. She will have to eat, breathe, and live dance. I see visions of make up, bobby pins, hairspray and fancy costumes, not to mention lots of nagging to practice, practice, practice. I'm not TOO worried. She will be homeschooling this year, so she should have plenty of time for practicing as well as her other passions- art and music. Perhaps I'm more worried about how I will pay for all the necessities required for such a major committment. I guess I can worry about this after she makes the cut....wish her luck! Here she is in the front...

Paper Rollercoasters

My son's 4th grade class did an awesome project this week and I just HAD to share. Whether you homeschool or teach in a classroom, the $20 fee for templates is well worth it if you ask me. I talked to my son's teacher who said that the kids did a wonderful job working together. They did not get to choose their own groups, and yet everyone was engaged and got along. That is unheard of with 4th graders, isn't it?! Here is a picture and the link is below...

http://www.paperrollercoasters.com/

Well-Known Evolutionist States, "Creationist Critics (of Evolution) Are Right"

I have an interest in Creation Science and maybe some of my readers do, too. If you do not already subscribe to Ken Ham's blog, here is a great article, and while you're there, subscribe! If you don't know who Ken Ham is, but his name sounds familiar, he is the president/CEO and founder of Answers in Genesis, and the highly acclaimed Creation Museum. Click here for the article!

The Socializatin Myth in Schools

Here we go again. This topic comes up in my life fairly often, because with two kids now in school for almost a whole year, well, it's going to. My kids were homeschooled through 2nd and 3rd grades, and were not "socialized" at school like their peers have been. I didn't realize it would even be an issue until my daughter was in first grade and would play with the neighbors when they would come home from school. She would come inside after a couple of hours, asking questions about why the girls were acting the way they were acting. That's when it occurred to me that the "games girls play" were being learned by these girls in school, and my daughter, without being "socialized" had no idea how to play them. You know those games...the manipulation, the cattiness, the, "I'll be your friend, IF..." The, "let's be mad at X..." and the exluding someone for whatever reason... It's just a big ol' ugly mess.

Most parents who were schooled or have kids in school think this is perfectly normal, or a rite of passage that every child encounters during childhood. Unfortunately, that's what leads to bullying. Kids left to fend for themselves, and choose their pecking order on the playground are either the top dog, the middle of the road kid, or the one who gets picked on. Often, these roles change daily. It could be because your child wore something unique that the other kids decide to pick on. It could be because your child got a haircut. It could be because your child did or said something that someone else wants to pick on. It could be the change of the wind...who knows?

So what is it about schools that lead to this socialization problem with kids? It is not lack of supervision. Nope...it's NOT the teachers' faults. Or the principals'. It's the entire system. That's correct...if your child goes to school, it is going to happen no matter what you do or say, no matter how much you grumble or complain; someone at school will be getting picked on and someone will be the underdog. The biggest reason mis-socialization occurs in schools is the fact that children are grouped together according to age. When you combine children into a group of twenty or so, all of the same general age, there are going to be problems. The "pecking order" commences when students play their little games to determine who is the top dog and where everyone else stands. If ONLY we combined children of different ages for a great part of their day, the socialization problem would practically disappear, since older child tend to naturally lead younger children, and younger children naturally listen to their older peers. The "games" no longer are necessary.

But there are other factors as well, that are inherent in schools. It is eloquently put here...

"Instead of being locked behind school gates in what some would consider an artificial setting characterized by bells, forced silence and age-segregation, homeschoolers frequently extend their everyday classroom to fire departments, hospitals, museums, repair shops, city halls, national parks, churches and colleges, where real community interaction and contacts are made."

It is interesting that most school administrators believe that homeschooled students have inferior social skills when compared to schooled students. In actuality, the opposite is true. And it's not even close. Schooled students are actually FAR more anti-social than homeschooled students. While parents of schooled students can make a big difference by using their time with their kids wisely, they first have to recognize the importance of their time and the influence they can have on their kids in the few hours they see them in the evenings. Unfortunately, many parents don't realize the value they possess and don't see the need in helping their children by talking over and working through problems kids have at school. Parents also should make sure to take their kids where they go, such as running errands. The more real world experience children receive, the better their understanding of it. And the less important those playground games seem to be.

A Great Reason to Homeschool

After missing the first 3-4 years of schooling with peers, my kids are now in public school where they are catching up on all the illnesses they missed out on from K-2/3. Oh the horrors! My son has thrown up more in the last month than his entire life. I've lost count of the fevers, and the missed school days. This is crazy! My son stayed home today with a 102 fever and massive headache. His sister just recovered from the same this week. I found out that kids in my son's class have been diagnosed with influenza b virus, so I'm sure that's what he's got. It's like these kids are licking each other at school!

It doesn't help that I've neglected our diets and haven't been consistent with our Vitamin D supplementation, which has saved us until now. I've got to start feeding them better. But at the end of a long day, I'm exhausted and don't feed them as well as I should. I wish we could homeschool now so we don't have to deal with these illnesses. Funny thing is, I'm more concerned about them missing their gymnastics/dance class or basketball games than I am them missing school. School work can be made up, but the other stuff really can't. It's frustrating. But another motivating factor in bringing my kids back home.

K12 Curriculum

I've been shopping on-line for "on-line curriculum" and one that I have found is K12. I had heard of it from a facebook friend, and did the research to learn more. K12 is a FREE virtual school, with online coursework, books, AND hands-on material. Each child is assigned a teacher, and the parent is the "learning coach." This is a wonderful option for parents who don't feel equipped, or need extra help in certain subjects. It's also a great option for people who want their kids at home for reasons that don't include that they are unhappy with the curriculum in their local public school. What I don't know right now is whether or not the "learning coach" can remove or alter assignments for each child. I've read that it can take up to 5 hours to complete the work, so I asked my friend about that and she said her daughter is able to do it in 2-3 hours. So if your child works particularly slow, it may be more work than you want to try and tackle. If your child is a quick worker, it should be about right. One example of something I might want to change is spelling assignments. If there are lots of things that have to be done with spelling words, I might want to remove them. I have excellent spellers. Once you show my kids a word, they know how to spell it. So why do work everyday to get you ready for the test? But I might want to spend more time with them on math. I still want some control, but nothing that should ruffle any feathers. Before I choose this curriculum, I would ask about this.

You can learn more at K12. My take on this system is that it is the government's way of saving money on education. Instead of trying to work against homeschoolers they are working with them, and helping parents who have the opportunity, desire, or need to keep kids at home provide a balanced, thorough education. So far so good. As I learn more I will update what I learn!

How many cubic feet is my washer?

I always enjoy the, "I get to use the math I learned in junior high!" moments because I can use these examples one day when my kids ask, "Why do I have to learn this?!" Here is a great use of measurement, formulas, and figuring out volume...

My washing machine broke. It is over 20 years old, so I decided it was probably time to start looking for a new one. I looked them up online and kept seeing how many cubic feet the new ones were. Well, how can I know how big that is if I don't know the cubic feet of my current washer? Hmmmm.... So I googled, "How many cubic feet is XXX washer?" I had written down the model number, serial number, brand and anything else I might need off the washer so I could find the information online. But what I found instead was (GASP!) how to calculate your cubic feet. Not only did I have to know what pi was, I needed to use the ol' formula A=pi (r squared). THEN I had to multiply the area by the height of the drum, to satisfy the formula V = pi (radius squared) (height) or V= pi X r^2 X h . But it doesn't end there! I measured in inches and ended up with the volume in cubic inches. In order to compare to the new washers, I needed to know how many cubic feet it was.

There are 12 inches in 1 foot, 144 (or 12x12) square inches in 1 square foot, 1728 (or 12x12x12) cubic inches in 1 cubic foot. So to find how many cubic feet you have, divide the number you got in inches by 1728. Then, you will know how many cubic feet your washer is in. Do yourself a favor and write it with permanent marker somewhere on the machine! It might come in handy at some point.

Figuring this out was an eye opener to me of the things we could ask children to figure out that will help them use what they are learning in math. My 4th grader isn't quite at the point of doing this, but one day... and I can't wait to show him! If you have other "using math" ideas, please share them!

P.S. My washer was 2.5 cubic feet!

My New Year's Resolution

Today is the last day of Christmas vacation, and marks the beginning of the year for me in a way. It's also the first day of a 30-Day Blogging Challenge, where we are to blog daily as well as encourage others in the challenge to keep it up for 30 days. My resolution is two-fold and simple: blog daily, and bring my kids home.

Ironically, regular blogging brings more website sales. I didn't have to learn that in a class, I learned that through experience. So by taking part in the challenge, I will simultaneously improve my business...which will hopefully eventually lead to enough income to homeschool my kids again. Isn't it great how these things work? After being home for a couple of weeks, I remember how much fun it is to be home with my kids, rather than at work with someone else's kids. Well, maybe fun isn't the right word...but I can definitely see the benefits again of children being home.

My house will be put on the market soon, and we will look for a house about an hour away, closer to a bigger city where the kids' activities are, and more opportunities for self-employment income. I'm hoping to tutor for extra income, and even possibly take a few kids during the day whose parents have to work, but want to be homechooled. Heck, I'd even cut grass in the summer! I don't know how everything is going to happen, but I just know that it is going to work out somehow. I mean, it always has. One thing that I have learned is that God is going to work out the details as long as I keep working toward the goal.

I'm hoping that going back to work tomorrow and getting back to kids' activities isn't going to thwart my blogging plans. I have a number of blogs and a number of things I can write about, but my fear is that I will have little energy left at the end of the day to write. We shall see!

Click N Kids Coupon

I couldn't let this special go by without sharing with you! Enjoy!

Alpha Omega Homeschooling Products

While we are at home for Christmas break, I've been looking forward to bringing my kids back home by shopping for curricula online. Tonight as I watched the Sooners win the Fiesta Bowl, I spent a couple of hours on the Alpha Omega website checking out their numerous homeschooling curricula options. At first I thought the new Monarch was the cat's meow...until I read some online reviews basically saying that they are still working out kinks. In a year I'm sure it will be the bomb, but for immediate homeschooling needs, Switched on Schoolhouse is an excellent option... if you want to homeschool using the computer, that is. They also have other traditional book options, including a unit based curriculum that many homeschoolers love. At this point I'm more interested in something the kids can do on the computer. Switched on Schoolhouse (SOS) is great for that. With SOS you have to download the CDs on your computer, whereas the new Monarch system is all online. (This is a great benefit for people who travel and don't want to carry their laptops everywhere- assuming people HAVE laptops.) Since Alpha Omega is a great company and dedicated to homeschoolers and providing wonderful curricula, I'm sure that Monarch will soon meet the standards their customers expect. But for now, check out their other options as well as Monarch, especially if you have a student in K-2 or even younger. Use this button, and don't forget to check out the link on their home page that takes you to a chart comparing all their curricula. It's very helpful!

Why Buy Play Food...

when you can buy Play Doh? After being home for a few days during Christmas vacation, my daughter got into her play kitchen again. She was really wanting to "make" food and she didn't have all the food she wanted to serve. Like eggs. Or certain veggies. So on Christmas Eve I decided to stop by the local "crap" store to see if they had anything that would work. (I call it that because everything you buy there will break eventually. Like a little Walmart :) They had a cheap basket of really sad looking plastic food that didn't fit the bill. And then I got an ingenius idea...PLAY DOH! Heck, with Play Doh you can make anything you want, again and again. And Christmas day, that's exactly what she did. Below you can see my egg, sausage and hashbrown breakfast; pizza, asparagus (and some "others"); and of course Lucky Charms. She had a great time in her kitchen seeing what she could come up with. The funny thing is, my mom has pictures of my sister and I when we were little, and my dad and mom eating our Play Doh concoctions. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner!

P.S. Check manufacturing location on your Play Doh labels if you don't want to buy products from China. Make your own if you know how...this is something I've not done well with!

Bringing My Kids Back Home

Last spring, I enrolled my children in school for the first time. They entered 2nd and 3rd grade, and really liked being at school. But we are halfway into this school year, and the honeymoon period is over. They are both ready to be home and tell me often that they want to homeschool again. I don't blame them. They have great teachers, so I guess it could be worse. I've been around long enough to know that there are some bad teachers out there. But slowly, all the reasons I was against schooling have come to fruition.

My biggest complaint is the wasted time. This is no one's fault, but inherent in trying to meet the needs of a large group of children. There are things that bore my children to death because they are not being challenged. And then there are times that they need more help, in math, for instance, because there are things that were not covered from one curriculum to the next.

The other thing that bothers me, like most parents, is the amount of "knowledge" that other kids share. Now, where this "knowledge" comes from is a mystery to me, but if you hang out long enough where we live, you will notice the way parents talk in front of their kids. The language is filthy, using every curse word you can imagine, as if it is a normal part of everyday conversation. So if parents aren't careful about language in front of their kids, what else are they exposing them to?!

We are planning on moving soon, as soon as we can get our house sold. I'm hoping after the move we will be able to pick back up on homeschooling, but I know that things will be tight. I am a single mom, receiving no child support. My home business almost covers expenses, so I will have to build on that and hope that there is enough. This is very important to me, not only because I want my kids to receive the best education possible, but also because it will provide them more free time to work on the things that they really love. My daughter loves dancing, art, gymnastics, singing, and wants to try acting. My son loves playing sports and Taikwondo. When they are in school all day, their free time is very limited. It just doesn't work for us.

So I'm committed to finding a way to allow my children to stay at home. They are worth it, and I know deep down it is the best thing for them and for our family.